Paul had so much wisdom and insight that he shared with so many of us. Lots of people considered him their mentor. He also had
wonderful creative capacities in music and photography. If you go to
his website at www.siriusmusic.org/siriusmusic  .

You can listen to any of his songs on Real Player. If you don't have it, a link is supplied to make it easy to obtain it without any spyware or adware. Friends in Creation (song #7) is the song he sang at our wedding renewal, and so is one of my favorites. His creative photography is also available on this site, and I have more if you're interested.

Please listen to a little of his music or read the lyrics of one of
his songs and say a prayer for his passage and for those of his
friends who are processing this great loss.

Here are some of Paul's posts to the Yahoo Fluoroquinolone board.  You can see the desperation and cries for help in his posts.  I spoke with Paul on the phone and his doctor refused to help him with any of this - even denying that Levaquin was the cause.  These acts are criminal. On to the posts:

• 8 months and counting post 1 dose levaq... symptoms keep changing and
  it seems to be going deeper in my system... from tendonitis to
  abdominal and spinal pain... not maybe floaters showing up - wonder
  what else I have to look forward too.. and I have a gut feeling it
  will all pass but boy - could fool my mind about it...
   
• Has anyone had any luck with Kava tea for anxiety...? I understand
  there may be some liver issues and it would be nice to be able to
  scale this back a bit and get some sleep... this can't be helping
  healing..

• Help me please, if you can...thanks...
  
  layed down in bed tonight with a warm pad on my chest... rested and
  woke up a bit later with my whole body pounding... for about 30
  seconds... whoa... this is weird, weird, weird
  , like someone was pounding on a drum and I was it...??? anixiey
  attack??? went away but as close to ending as I've ever felt... ANYONE
  ELSE have this... jeeez
  
  thank you

• This is too serious for that... my homework suggests (as is has
  happened with less severity) 4 times in the last 24 hours always at
  napping or sleeping... as possibly sleep apnea... one other gentleman
  has mentioned to me panic attacks during naps as well.. God help us...

• 8 months in to one dose.. panic disorders set in particularly torched
  by eating or trying to sleep... I was humbled and don't any longer
  look to anything to help - though I research... coping is difficult
  if not impossible, it seems... don't know if I will live or die in any
  given day... since things have gotten worse... I almost expect them
  now... out of the blue every remedy so far works for a short time then
  worse I become...
  
  I appreciate your help but I do not know what hope there is...
  
  I don't know

• I apologize to this group.. when it came on i offered simple minded
  fixes without knowing the severity and depth of the situations... like
  a child... probably offending rather than helping... I would ask for
  your forgiveness for now I know it can be a desponding ride
  
  i forgive myself as well
  
  I would hope to not be here again as I have nothing to offer,
  really... nothing has helped me, and symptoms only worsen... and I
  have been a quick-fix man... not knowing how offensive it could be

• Hi...
  
  Just went for a short walk in very cold air and found my upper
  respiratory system closing off...cool ;-) also came back in and found
  my arms (the skin) going numb-ish, neuropathy... .. seems better back
  in the warmth... has anyone had this or anything similar... and if so
  anything which might help with it...
  
  guess I wear a face mask and drink warm water along the way ;-) for
  starters...
  
  I live in colorado and there are 4 months of winter left ;-) oh,
  goodee... oh, my...
  
  Thank you my dears...
  
  Paul

• When it was really bad a few days back... I reached out and you, and you know who you are, (all of you) send love back along with your kindness and support..
  
  this was the first time in my life when Gratitude for the kindness of other human souls wonderfully and perfectly outshadowed the often general feelings of negativity towards the state of the world..... how valuable is that...
   
• What do those who are alone do, when the panic comes on and you know it 's the drug wanna scream and cry... when sleep is nonexistent and food doesn't work much... what do you do - to cope in it... i am not going to med route - i am not going into that world... friends seem to be able to do some but they are not skilled to do more than they can...
  
  What do you, who are alone, do...
  
  If i reach out too much they may just see me as crazy... oh, the med world... I'm gonna make it through this cause I know what it is and I am resilient and I am strong inside

• I don't trust anything or anyone at this point... and least of all my
  ability to survive... it's weak I know, thank you for your help..

• I want to quit trying to fix anything... I make great little progress
  and seem to be over something and wow it just or something comes back
  within hours to hurt or despond... I gotta tell you - it's getting
  hard for even me to believe it's only cause of 1 pill nine months ago.
  ..
  
  So if I quit being careful - i don't care sometimes.. like now...
  thought I was gonna dies today for lack of breath.. this is after the
  first nights rest I'd had in 9 days... what a great gift... to then
  feel like choking to death...
  
  Vent - yea this is vent.... is any trying worth it at all... i gotta
  wonder folks... sorry but... i gotta wonder sometimes... almost rather
  have no hope at all than false hope... snatched away hope... jeez...
  Anybody else read Job lately... God... sorry
   

• Anyone use Ambien for sleep...?

• do people get skin rashes at all.. if so do they come and go... are
  they associated with an area of pain or discomfort internally in that
  area...???
  
  thanks,
  
  Paul

• What do you do for your seizures... anything... do you have an "aura"
  before them...
  
  anything other than drugs...?
  
  Paul

• hope is kinda gone... guess we'll see what happens from there... I
  guess in the midst I don't see myself of as one of the survivors...
  you know... good days make the worst days worse - give you hope.. and
  then stolen back..
  
  paul

• Thank you both... it is a little daunting when eating hurts and
  attempts at sleeping drops one into a no-sleep adrenaline charge...
  then the multiple chemical things set in... no eat, no sleep to speak
  of, increasing reactions... can't quite focus on the upside
  possibilities... i would try meds for sleep but fear the worst from
  these... hypersensitied to everything, they are bound to destroy
  
  sometimes, "this too shall pass" is becoming "i too shall pass" -
  sorry folks... no doubt lack of sleep... this is bizarre... sorry..
  just trying to find a breathing hole through the ice... so to speak...
  thanks for the kind words... not able to see around the bend now

• did the xanax help with the suicidal/paranoia stuff?

• Does anyone else experience pains in the upper left quadrant of the
  body (rib cage area) in front and/or back - feels also like a
  "fullness" or bloating at times in those areas, occasionally radiated
  from front to back around under the arm pit area... also it can get
  worse with eating (which also may precipitate a panic or anxiety
  experience)
  
  any experience with this or anything similar is noteworthy
  
  Paul

• Has anyone been diagnosed with Pancreatitis (via CT scan, blood work,
  etc.)or a blocked pancreatic duct...
  
  All the symptoms of the upper left quadrant pain, pain directly
  radiating to the back, more rapid pulse and anxiety all fit...
  
  God, I asked 4 docs what this pain was and well jeez no one knew...
  had to come to this one in my own research.... jeeez
  
  Well... enough venting... if anyone has had this diagnosed, please
  respond...
  
  thanks,
  
  Paul
• Homeopathic Pleo "Nig" 5x (Aspergillus Niger) stopped mine in 3days -
  1 day too late as I had already took the fq

• not gonna try it... tried some xanax (had taken tagamet and this is a
  bad combination: multiplies the effect of benzo) and it nearly killed
  my brain... my cue that meds are out... shit even vitamins hit me...
  
  You know.. it's even getting hard for me to believe one pill nine
  months ago is doin all this.. I know.. .but it is.. every systems is
  going down.. new neuro/digestive/panic...whatever symptoms show up -
  So, if I don't write more detail know... can't focus on it all..
  .somehow I am still here each day but God knows how and why and I'm
  being told to hang on and have faith.. time's it's hard...
  
  
  None of friends or family grasp at all the depth and suffering.. it's
  almost surreal.. .literally no one gets it... it's almost surreal
  
  so if I seem daunted.. don't worry... people say they come through
  this... I guess you know when you do

• I never got angry ever... ever.. ever... and now I get - when I can't move or sleep again is stolen I get angry angry angry.. good thing I live out in the boonies... never got angry before - feels good in a way.. I don think I could medicate this away.. but lack of sleep,,,does it ANGER

• Sorry, guys... no idication... and no one can convince me at this
  point... good luck all.. thanks for tryin' anyway... what... 1 in 500
  - geuss i didn't make the cut... shit

The post above was Paul's last remark made to the FQ board.  We found out from the following post what had become of Paul:

I received the message of Paul's death, which made me very sad. From x-mas on we had been very often in touch and I saw how hard he struggled to survive. But his situations in all directions deteriorated.

Below are a couple of emails I received from Paul:

• Bob... Klonopin is mentioned on the list a lot but you indicate it is a
  bad benzo... yes?
  
  thank you - not good and not bad but confused - want to sleep

• can't breathe

• Bob,...thanks.. .lt me see how the days roll... did
  your lawyer do anything or just ride it out... i like
  to be realistic and find many things not bettering but
  the other... i like to thinkg the best but then i find
  the other coming... I'd like a guarantee of course
  then I could endure  - ha ha ha.. but i don't know how
   - i just have to relax with it and see what
  happens... when I eat something and burns a sore in my
  mouth - I wonder how I will survive... anyway.. i
  can't worry - just have to live and experiment, I
  guess... have you tried the arginine for sleep? -

• i have no hope.. i am glad others find hope - i don't have it - prayers
  and thoughts from afar are kind sort of of course but my hope is empty

I hope that the posts and the emails along with the nice story written of Paul express how much this man suffered at the hands of ONE Levaquin.  As he said in one of his posts - his prostatitis cleared up after a homeopathic treatment - but it was too late - he had taken the Levaquin.  In my conversations with Paul on the phone he was desperate, depressed, unable to express himself at all.  Dear God I hate these drugs..

- I am so so sorry for your loss, it is unbelievable that these drugs are prescribed. My heart goes out to you.
love, Allison