|Paul's story is particularly a hard one for me
to put up. I talked with Paul on the phone several times - and I could
hear the desperation in his voice. Paul suffered many of the same
symptoms I have so I can relate to the severe mental torture he was
enduring. Paul went night after night without sleep - and I can tell
you that alone is enough to drive a person off the edge.
Fluoroquinolones can shut down sleep for years. The victim becomes a
zombie living in a half world of reality. This is where Paul was
spending his life. In mental agony (anxiety, panic), sensitive to
foods and it a great deal of pain all over his body. To make matters
worse - Paul was all alone. Paul was a loner by nature - but as I
found out after his death - he was a very talented musician who wrote music
for children. I came to find out Paul was a soft, gentle man who loved
and lived a simple life until he was prescribed ONE LEVAQUIN for a prostate
infection. The incredible agony he put up with all alone eventually drove
Paul to suicide. With Paul's story I'm going to put up the posts
he made on the Yahoo Forum, Emails he sent to me and the thoughts of
|Twelve years ago, while living in Boulder, Colorado, my wife,
Lucille, took our four-year-old son, Brenden to a music fair at a
park in the foothills. They heard some beautiful songs written,
composed and sung by a small, gentle man named Paul Levine. They both
fell in love with the music and the musician. They bought his tape
and practically wore it out during the next few weeks. Lucille
brought him home for dinner, as she does so often (and so well) and
we met and felt a love between us that seemed to have existed
forever. We became the best of friends and, even though 2 years
later we moved cross-country to the Florida swamp, we stayed in close
contact over the phone. Sometimes Brenden and he would talk for
hours. He came twice to Melrose FL. to visit us at our lake house.
||Last May he took a Fluoroquinolone antibiotic that he had a severe
reaction to. (see
http://fqresearch.org/ ) Symptoms got
progressively worse and he became very sensitive to many foods and
other environmental factors. The pains increased and he wasn't able
to sleep. His mental, emotional and physical condition worsened and
in the last few months he was calling on his close friends to stay on
the phone with him through his toughest times, sometimes for hours
during the middle of the night. He couldn't bear the pain any longer
and felt that there was no one on Earth that could help him. At
midday on Wednesday, March 3, 2004, he took his own life.
Paul had so much wisdom and insight that he shared with so many of
us. Lots of people considered him their mentor. He also had
wonderful creative capacities in music and photography. If you go to
his website at
You can listen to any of his songs on Real Player. If you don't have it, a
supplied to make it easy to obtain it without any spyware or adware.
Friends in Creation (song #7) is the song he sang at our wedding
renewal, and so is one of my favorites. His creative photography is
also available on this site, and I have more if you're interested.
Please listen to a little of his music or read the lyrics of one of
his songs and say a prayer for his passage and for those of his
friends who are processing this great loss.
Here are some of Paul's posts to the Yahoo Fluoroquinolone board.
You can see the desperation and cries for help in his posts. I spoke
with Paul on the phone and his doctor refused to help him with any of this -
even denying that Levaquin was the cause. These acts are criminal. On
to the posts:
- 8 months and counting post 1 dose levaq... symptoms keep changing and
it seems to be going deeper in my system... from tendonitis to
abdominal and spinal pain... not maybe floaters showing up - wonder
what else I have to look forward too.. and I have a gut feeling it
will all pass but boy - could fool my mind about it...
- Has anyone had any luck with Kava tea for anxiety...? I understand
there may be some liver issues and it would be nice to be able to
scale this back a bit and get some sleep... this can't be helping
- Help me please, if you can...thanks...
layed down in bed tonight with a warm pad on my chest... rested and
woke up a bit later with my whole body pounding... for about 30
seconds... whoa... this is weird, weird, weird
, like someone was pounding on a drum and I was it...??? anixiey
attack??? went away but as close to ending as I've ever felt... ANYONE
ELSE have this... jeeez
- This is too serious for that... my homework suggests (as is has
happened with less severity) 4 times in the last 24 hours always at
napping or sleeping... as possibly sleep apnea... one other gentleman
has mentioned to me panic attacks during naps as well.. God help us...
- 8 months in to one dose.. panic disorders set in particularly torched
by eating or trying to sleep... I was humbled and don't any longer
look to anything to help - though I research... coping is difficult
if not impossible, it seems... don't know if I will live or die in any
given day... since things have gotten worse... I almost expect them
now... out of the blue every remedy so far works for a short time then
worse I become...
I appreciate your help but I do not know what hope there is...
I don't know
- I apologize to this group.. when it came on i offered simple minded
fixes without knowing the severity and depth of the situations... like
a child... probably offending rather than helping... I would ask for
your forgiveness for now I know it can be a desponding ride
i forgive myself as well
I would hope to not be here again as I have nothing to offer,
really... nothing has helped me, and symptoms only worsen... and I
have been a quick-fix man... not knowing how offensive it could be
Just went for a short walk in very cold air and found my upper
respiratory system closing off...cool ;-) also came back in and found
my arms (the skin) going numb-ish, neuropathy... .. seems better back
in the warmth... has anyone had this or anything similar... and if so
anything which might help with it...
guess I wear a face mask and drink warm water along the way ;-) for
I live in colorado and there are 4 months of winter left ;-) oh,
goodee... oh, my...
Thank you my dears...
- When it was really bad a few days back... I reached out and you, and
you know who you are, (all of you) send love back along with your
kindness and support..
this was the first time in my life when Gratitude for the kindness of
other human souls wonderfully and perfectly outshadowed the often
general feelings of negativity towards the state of the world..... how
valuable is that...
- What do those who are alone do, when the panic comes on and you know
it 's the drug wanna scream and cry... when sleep is nonexistent and
food doesn't work much... what do you do - to cope in it... i am not
going to med route - i am not going into that world... friends seem to
be able to do some but they are not skilled to do more than they can...
What do you, who are alone, do...
If i reach out too much they may just see me as crazy... oh, the med
world... I'm gonna make it through this cause I know what it is and I
am resilient and I am strong inside
- I don't trust anything or anyone at this point... and least of all
ability to survive... it's weak I know, thank you for your help..
- I want to quit trying to fix anything... I make great little progress
and seem to be over something and wow it just or something comes back
within hours to hurt or despond... I gotta tell you - it's getting
hard for even me to believe it's only cause of 1 pill nine months ago.
So if I quit being careful - i don't care sometimes.. like now...
thought I was gonna dies today for lack of breath.. this is after the
first nights rest I'd had in 9 days... what a great gift... to then
feel like choking to death...
Vent - yea this is vent.... is any trying worth it at all... i gotta
wonder folks... sorry but... i gotta wonder sometimes... almost rather
have no hope at all than false hope... snatched away hope... jeez...
Anybody else read Job lately... God... sorry
- Anyone use Ambien for sleep...?
- do people get skin rashes at all.. if so do they come and go... are
they associated with an area of pain or discomfort internally in that
- What do you do for your seizures... anything... do you have an "aura"
anything other than drugs...?
- hope is kinda gone... guess we'll see what happens from there... I
guess in the midst I don't see myself of as one of the survivors...
you know... good days make the worst days worse - give you hope.. and
then stolen back..
- Thank you both... it is a little daunting when eating hurts and
attempts at sleeping drops one into a no-sleep adrenaline charge...
then the multiple chemical things set in... no eat, no sleep to speak
of, increasing reactions... can't quite focus on the upside
possibilities... i would try meds for sleep but fear the worst from
these... hypersensitied to everything, they are bound to destroy
sometimes, "this too shall pass" is becoming "i too shall pass" -
sorry folks... no doubt lack of sleep... this is bizarre... sorry..
just trying to find a breathing hole through the ice... so to speak...
thanks for the kind words... not able to see around the bend now
- did the xanax help with the suicidal/paranoia stuff?
- Does anyone else experience pains in the upper left quadrant of the
body (rib cage area) in front and/or back - feels also like a
"fullness" or bloating at times in those areas, occasionally radiated
from front to back around under the arm pit area... also it can get
worse with eating (which also may precipitate a panic or anxiety
any experience with this or anything similar is noteworthy
- Has anyone been diagnosed with Pancreatitis (via CT scan, blood work,
etc.)or a blocked pancreatic duct...
All the symptoms of the upper left quadrant pain, pain directly
radiating to the back, more rapid pulse and anxiety all fit...
God, I asked 4 docs what this pain was and well jeez no one knew...
had to come to this one in my own research.... jeeez
Well... enough venting... if anyone has had this diagnosed, please
- Homeopathic Pleo "Nig" 5x (Aspergillus Niger) stopped mine in 3days -
1 day too late as I had already took the fq
- not gonna try it... tried some xanax (had taken tagamet and this is a
bad combination: multiplies the effect of benzo) and it nearly killed
my brain... my cue that meds are out... shit even vitamins hit me...
You know.. it's even getting hard for me to believe one pill nine
months ago is doin all this.. I know.. .but it is.. every systems is
going down.. new neuro/digestive/panic...whatever symptoms show up -
So, if I don't write more detail know... can't focus on it all..
.somehow I am still here each day but God knows how and why and I'm
being told to hang on and have faith.. time's it's hard...
None of friends or family grasp at all the depth and suffering.. it's
almost surreal.. .literally no one gets it... it's almost surreal
so if I seem daunted.. don't worry... people say they come through
this... I guess you know when you do
- I never got angry ever... ever.. ever... and now I get - when I can't
move or sleep again is stolen I get angry angry angry.. good thing I
live out in the boonies... never got angry before - feels good in a
way.. I don
think I could medicate this away.. but lack of sleep,,,does it ANGER
- Sorry, guys... no idication... and no one can convince me at this
point... good luck all.. thanks for tryin' anyway... what... 1 in 500
- geuss i didn't make the cut... shit
The post above was Paul's last remark made to the FQ board. We
found out from the following post what had become of Paul:
I received the message of Paul's death, which made me very sad. From x-mas
we had been very often in touch and I saw how hard he struggled to survive.
But his situations in all directions deteriorated.
Below are a couple of emails I received from Paul:
Bob,...thanks.. .lt me see how the days roll... did
your lawyer do anything or just ride it out... i like
to be realistic and find many things not bettering but
the other... i like to thinkg the best but then i find
the other coming... I'd like a guarantee of course
then I could endure - ha ha ha.. but i don't know how
- i just have to relax with it and see what
happens... when I eat something and burns a sore in my
mouth - I wonder how I will survive... anyway.. i
can't worry - just have to live and experiment, I
guess... have you tried the arginine for sleep? -
I hope that the posts and the emails along with the nice
story written of Paul express how much this man suffered at the hands of ONE
Levaquin. As he said in one of his posts - his prostatitis cleared up
after a homeopathic treatment - but it was too late - he had taken the
Levaquin. In my conversations with Paul on the phone he was desperate,
depressed, unable to express himself at all. Dear God I hate these
- I am so so sorry for your loss, it is unbelievable that
these drugs are prescribed. My heart goes out to you.